[Lawyer Bear Larry] The New York Times has a story this morning exposing the Bush administration's screwed-up efforts to capture Osama and company.

After the Sept. 11 attacks, President Bush committed the nation to a “war on terrorism” and made the destruction of Mr. bin Laden’s network the top priority of his presidency. But it is increasingly clear that the Bush administration will leave office with Al Qaeda having successfully relocated its base from Afghanistan to Pakistan’s tribal areas, where it has rebuilt much of its ability to attack from the region and broadcast its messages to militants across the world

. . . .

Just as it had on the day before 9/11, Al Qaeda now has a band of terrorist camps from which to plan and train for attacks against Western targets, including the United States. Officials say the new camps are smaller than the ones the group used prior to 2001. However, despite dozens of American missile strikes in Pakistan since 2002, one retired C.I.A. officer estimated that the makeshift training compounds now have as many as 2,000 local and foreign militants, up from several hundred three years ago.

Since I am going to London the blog posts will be a little scarce, Chaser Ricky and Lawyer Bear Larry may be posting in my absence (if he is able to get off his lazy "I charge $350 an hour for work I make my more technologically advanced chaser friend do for me but don't pay him shit" ass, that is).

I will try to do periodic updates while I am amongst the Limey Bears.

Via BWE, I found this hilarious article about a family who just LOVES faggots.

A West Midlands family is playing a central role in the quest to raise the profile of a forgotten British dish - faggots.

The Doody family from Wolverhampton has been crowned The Faggot Family in a national competition, and to kick off their reign they will launch National Faggot Week.

[snip]

"The great British faggot is full of flavour and a great belly warmer at this time of year."

Good to know! I am departing for London tomorrow and could use a flavorful belly warmer during Pride week ;)

The clever gays/people of San Francisco are trying to rename the facility that houses their poop, pee, used condoms, and homeless people to the George W Bush Sewage Treatment Facility.

San Francisco is to hold a vote on whether to rename one of its largest sewage treatment facilities after George W. Bush, in what supporters describe as “a fitting monument to the President’s work”.

More than 8,500 signatures have already been gathered in support of the plan — 1,300 more than the minimum required to get the proposal on the November ballot. The scheme was devised by an official-sounding group called the Presidential Memorial Commission of San Francisco.

“On matters ranging from foreign relations to fiscal and environmental stewardship, no other president in American history has accomplished so much in such a short time,” says the group on its website. “We believe this is an appropriate honour for a truly unique president. If you think so too, join this grassroots movement to rename this important and iconic landmark in his honour.”

The official renaming ceremony — the sewage facility is currently named the Oceanside Water Pollution Control Plant — would take place in January, when the next President is sworn in. Part of it would include a “synchronised flush”, described as a way to send a gift to the renamed plant.

Pretty funny. I'm sure old Georgie would be pleased to know all those gays will be sending their aborted babies to him [figuratively].

I really think that most young parents' are complete retarded children who think that having a baby is like getting a new toy that gets you cash monies from the government so you can go bowling while hood rats "holla at you" at 1:00 in the morning while your rodent of a child screams and runs around and annoys the mild mannered gays who are just trying to get drunk and throw balls down a wooden lane without interruption.

But this lady is a genius.

She found out she faints due to a medical condition called vasovogal syncope (vayzo-vay-gal SIN'-kuh-pea). So she taught her baby a song called "911 Green" where the little girl presses the numbers 911 and the green button, so if something ever happened the child would know what to do.

Previously she had taught the child "Green Green Green" so she would dial whoever was last called (although this would be dangerous cause what if she called Blockbuster or something... the lazy ignorant ass teenagers working there would probably hang up on the child).

Barack Obama is currently giving a live speech where he said that Nader was "clearly trying to get attention" for a campaign that had no traction.

Finally someone is saying it.

Fucking Ralph Nader should hide under a rock with his 5 hippy supporters and stay out of Presidential elections, and the people who would vote for him should shoot themselves in the face.

When I went to Chuck E Cheese for a birthday party, all I remember is nasty ass square pizza, playing skeeball to win 11,000,000 tickets only to find out that 11,000,000 will get you a chinese fan and a kazoo, and 11,000,146 will get you the boombox stereo and VCR, and the trademark infringing animals' jamboree that sang nondescript songs and oldies.

Then there's this.



Hence my 9 year old niece's elementary class photo:


She's the blonde in the front!


(via BWE)

So some "geniuses" at Chickenhead Productions (claiming to be the US Dept. of Health & Human Services and the White House Office of Youth Purity) have come up with a new abstinence pushing site titled "Sex Is For Fags."

It even includes a pledge to not participate in any queer sex with girls.

I, [MY NAME], hereby pledge:

1. To stay massively cool by not having sex. Because only major losers have sex – which everyone knows is only for fags.

2. To never let any slutty girls peer pressure me into touching their vaginas – because vaginas are totally gay.

3. To ignore my raging hormones and burning drive to fondle, suckle, and thrust furiously into a hot gooey pit of creamy-soft fleshy ecstasy.

4. To keep my groinal giblets inside my GAP khakis, and to punch those sweaty bits into submission whenever they percolate with desire.

5. To never spill my sacred "dude milk" – unless it is inside of some hot babe who already married me and took my last name.

I understand that abstaining from sex protects me from:

The regret and guilt caused by the disgusting, squishy act of stupid sex, which is basically like going to the toilet from the front side. Making retard babies out of wedlock, then having to blow my whole allowance on diapers and a stroller instead of XBox games and Snickers. Catching a brain-rotting STD like "Finger Herpes" from "feeling up" any nasty dirty girlie holes.

My personal favorite.

5. To never spill my sacred "dude milk" – unless it is inside of some hot babe who already married me and took my last name.

Sooooo, if the feminist bitch marries you, but doesn't take your name, then it's not ok to spill your dude milk inside her gay vagina?? Hot.

This is definitely going to have the opposite effect it is trying for. Cause I'm pretty sure fondling, suckling, and thrusting lady lands is definitely NOT GAY (and absolutely disgusting).

I head out Friday evening with the brother and his best friend from college. What awaits me in the UK?

And if you have any special picture requests, please let me know in the comments section. I can't wait.

New Age Worldy Music + Dorky guy dancing a jig all over the world = Gold.

This is definitely a heart warming tale of a dude, dancing a jig, sometimes dancing with several varied kinds of people, all over the world. Watch it and love it. My favs is the leather queen gettin' his groove on in London, England.

There is a wonderful new time wasting service where you can write your own subtitles for foreign films.

This is one I did this morning.

I'm so sick of all these "bear musical groups" and acts. It's like if you are a musician, cool, if you are a musician who is a bear, cool!

But don't use the whole bear thing to make your crappy music appealing to someone. It's just a stupid gimmick, especially when MOST of them aren't even REAL bears. They are just your typical ugly asshole muscle bear trying to take over as usual.

Y The Last Man is probably one of the greatest comics of all time. It told the story of Yorick Brown, along with his monkey Ampersand, as the only living male organisms left on planet Earth.

In an instant everyone died and the females took over. Yorick and Amp have to trek across the globe looking for his girlfriend Beth, while running into crazy boobless Amazons, his sister, theater troupes, ninjas, pirates, and all kinds of mayhem.

This is the final volume wrapping the story to a complete end, and man is it a wonderful final ride. If you ever want to get into something a little less "superheroey" and more "this could be an amazing movie" (and it is being made into a trilogy possibly starring 'The Beef' himself Shia Lebouf) then definitely check this out.

Written by Brian K Vaughan (one of the head writers of LOST).

A bill passed in the Arizona (John McCain's) state that stopped "religious" discrimination in schools, but did not stop discrimination for minorities or gays. It still has to pass through the Senate and Governor.

The Arizona Senate has given preliminary approval to legislation barring schools from discriminating against religious beliefs, a move opponents say will encourage students to bully gay students.

Sen. Linda Gray (R), one of the bill's sponsors said the measure is necessary because some school officials are violating the constitutional rights of students by not allowing them to speak out about issues.

But Democrat Sen. Debbie McCune Davis said there has to be limits. She proposed an amendment that would bar bullying in schools on the basis of race, religion and sexual orientation.

Republicans opposed the move. Sen. Jack Harper (R) said the amendment would negate the purpose of the bill by allowing the very type of religious discrimination the legislation is trying to end.

He said that on the national Day of Silence students are allowed to "flaunt their alternative lifestyle" by wearing clothing with slogans supporting LGBT rights but under Davis's proposed amendment Christian students could not wear clothing expressing an opposing view.

The exchange prompted openly gay Sen. Ken Cheuvront to enter the debate.

Cheuvront (D) said that the expression beliefs must be tempered by the ability of school administrators to ensure that students are not bullied or harassed.

So basically the religious people feel that bullying gays is part of their "religious" freedom (kind of like killing jews).

I have never been able to find the passage in the bible where Jeebus says to hate on the homos, and I've read it quite a few times, but apparently I am not as scholarly on such matters as Joe Fuckface from the backwoods of Arizona where they speak to him more regularly in between wife beatings and daughter (or son) rapings.

At the Death Cab show in Dallas on Tuesday, this htm not only wore the same shirt as her fag hag, but gurl painted on her eyebrows too!

John Stewart hilariously covers the gay marriage issue on The Daily Show.

Bruno, Sacha Baron Cohen's gay as gay can be character, will have his own movie released on May 15, 2009.

Ever since Borat came out I have been waiting for this movie. It is by far his funniest character, and seeing how he calls people out on their hypocracy and hatred towards gays is absolute genius.

You think Borat made people look bad? Wait til this shit comes out.

Below are two Bruno clips from Da Ali G show.


What does freedom mean to you?




Why is being gay so out this season?

I have had some weird stomach flu since Friday. I basically spent 3 days on the couch with minimal movement and only 2 bowls of soup for nourishment.

I felt like death meets the tires of a semi truck. Finally regaining normal human functions like leg movement, so hopefully my witty repartee will return soon as well.

Tim Russert has passed away.

Farewell Pumpkin Head. It was nice meeting you in Iowa years ago, and I loved Meet The Press. Hope you are in a better place.

Tim Russert, NBC News’ Washington bureau chief and the moderator of "Meet the Press," died Friday after a sudden heart attack at the bureau, NBC News said Friday. He was 58.

Russert was recording voiceovers for Sunday’s “Meet the Press” program when he collapsed, the network said. No details were immediately available.

The former chairman of the Clark Co. Republican Party has been sentenced after he sucked some passed out dude off, and got caught right in the middle of it.

Glenn Murphy Jr. was arrested after authorities said he performed oral sex on a sleeping man following a July 28 party at a home in Jeffersonville. The plea agreement calls for a six-year sentence, with four years suspended.

Murphy is free on a $25,000 bond pending his June 30 sentencing.

Murphy, who was also chairman of the Young Republican National Federation, resigned from both posts when the allegations were made public in August.

The allegations initially came to light when they were posted on the personal blog of Indiana Democratic Party spokeswoman Jennifer Wagner.

The 22-year-old man who brought the complaint told investigators that he and Murphy were among a group of people who spent the night at a home after a party there, according to an affidavit by Detective Randy Burton of the Clark County sheriff's office.

Murphy slept on a top bunk while the man slept on a lower bunk, the affidavit said. The man said he awoke at 6:40 the next morning and found Murphy performing oral sex on him, according to the document.

The man told Burton that he pushed Murphy away and left.

Two days later, the affidavit said, the man met with Murphy and secretly taped a conversation during which Murphy apologized and begged him not to report the incident to police.

Soooo there's yet another one for the cards. It would be better if the guy wasn't so scary looking. I'm gay and I would call the cops if I saw that tragedy trying to fondle my weiner!

So a really high up judge seeing an obscenity case has granted a stay because his own personal website had similar obscene images including a man getting it on with a farm animal and naked bitches painted to look like cows (he apparently has a farm fetish or some sick shit like that).

Alex Kozinski, chief judge of the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, granted a 48-hour stay in the obscenity trial of a Hollywood adult filmmaker after the prosecutor requested time to explore "a potential conflict of interest concerning the court having a . . . sexually explicit website with similar material to what is on trial here."

In an interview Tuesday with The Times, Kozinski acknowledged posting sexual content on his website. Among the images on the site were a photo of naked women on all fours painted to look like cows and a video of a half-dressed man cavorting with a sexually aroused farm animal. He defended some of the adult content as "funny" but conceded that other postings were inappropriate.

Kozinski, 57, said that he thought the site was for his private storage and that he was not aware the images could be seen by the public, although he also said he had shared some material on the site with friends. After the interview Tuesday evening, he blocked public access to the site.

Kozinski is one of the nation's highest-ranking judges and has been mentioned as a possible candidate for the U.S. Supreme Court. He was named chief judge of the 9th Circuit last year and is considered a judicial conservative on most issues. He was appointed to the federal bench by President Reagan in 1985.

There are two lessons to be learned in all of this.

First of all, politicians and those who hold higher offices (especially in the legal profession) are dirty fucking perves. They either rufi boys and secretly video tape them, jack off to farm animal porn, or enjoy making snuff videos. Whatever it is they are into, the secret life is eventually uncovered, and sometimes I think that they get off more on being exposed than they do on their actual deviancy.

The other lesson is that EVERYTHING that hits the internet will be found. If something wants to dig shit up on your ass, they will. So remember that before you upload that picture of your boyfriend fisting you using grape jelly as lubricant, because someone, somewhere will find it.

This movie looks like it could probably the best Pixar film yet. I already said awwww and laughed and had every emotional spectrum possible in this 5 minute clip. I must see it immediately!!!!

Bob Odenkirk made a joke video for Rogue Wave's video "Chicago x 12." Fairly humorous. I saw these guys at SXSW and they rocked pretty awesomely. And the lead singer's daughter was wearing these noise cancelling head phones to save her little ears while she was rocking out to her dad's music. It was pretty cute.

Charles Manson and pumpkin farts:

• jack radcliffe bear
• musclebear blog
• "lesbian bear"
• 10 year old boy writes charles manson radar magazine
• blog bears chubby gays
• blog fat chasers
• buzz lightyear
• chaser bear admirer
• chaser for truckers
• chaser looks for bearman
• chasers, bears
• chubby, chaser, frankfurt
• correspondence for charles manson
• cuntalingus
• drunk muscle bear
• gay bear fuck
• gay interracial chaser
• gaychaser
• hipster
• homo chaser
• indianapolis bear chaser
• muscle cub blogs
• musclebear blogspots
• otter bear bust
• pumpkin farts
• savage love chubby chaser
• the chaser what does mean
• xtube bear

Typical bear, chaser, otter, muscle bear (assholes!) bullshit, with some localized chaser searches getting keyed in lately (last time there was a San Francisco search).

Someone is looking to write to Charles Manson apparently, while we got a Dan Savage fan in the house.

Someone who was looking up cunnilingus (they spelled it the sammy way) probably didn't appreciate my fervor for the husky and hirsute.

But you know you are doing something right when somebody finds you through the ever so thought out googling of "pumpkin farts." That is by far my favoritest ever.

Bill Maher has a new movie coming out where he asks crazy religious people about their beliefs.

Best line ever: "You don't have to pass an IQ test to be in the Senate, though"

Genius.

Took the DART rail to the West End for lunch today with Lawyer Bear Larry. There's a reason I don't normally ride DART in Dallas... "train people."

So this little piggy in England is afraid of the mud, so the farmers gave it little boots to wear. Apparently after donning the boots, Cinders the pig was happy to slosh around freely.

This is probably the coolest/cutest pig I have ever witnessed. I will never eat bacon again, ever.

Sorry cows you aren't safe yet, but I am pretty sure a bovine in a yellow rain jacket would turn me off cheeseburgers as well.




(via BWE)

Should definitely fill out this pledge.

(via Queerty)

According to AT&T if you bought the iPhone 1.0 after May 27, 2008 (which I did), you can trade it in for the new 3G iPhone free of charge.

Anyone who got it before that date is fucked.

The Texas State Democratic Convention went underway this weekend, and boy was it a hot tranny mess on a stick. We were there for hours on end with bitchy hippies, tragic queens that make Palm Springs look like a hotspot for attractive people, and fired up youngin's with something to prove.

The brother and I were both elected to be delegates, so it was our duty to actually show up, even though Hillary was planning to endorse Obama on Saturday. It had been a long journey and it was finally coming to an end for the two us (thank God!)

I spent so much time trapped in small spaces with the smelly bitchy rude ass people this weekend part of me felt like going to the Republican Convention (mmmm hot closeted Republicans).

Although I can say there were TONS of hot menses (daddy bears aplenty) up in the place, but 99.9% of them were straight, and the one or two that was family was so sporadic it made for a very frustrating weekend. I am sure there were plenty of toe tapping closet queens, but unfortunately my gaydar doesn't work for those kinds all the time, especially in such a clusterfuck of eye candy.