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10.07.2008

Hey, Hey, Movie On The Way!



It was only a matter of time before they Scooby Doo-ified Yogi Bear and did a CGI bear/live action film via Warner Bros.

If they could throw in a few "gay bear" jokes, it could be okkk. Scooby Doo was pretty terrible, but I really enjoyed Alvin & The Chipmunks, so who knows. Underdog sucked. Jason Lee is 1/2 and 1/2, so please movie producers, no more Jason Lee. Give us Tom Hanks or someone who isn't all Scientology crazy.

A Size Queen's Dream




A condom that not only protects, but also lets you know whether he was talking in metric inches, or AOL inches.

Either way you can now truly know just how big that thing is as you get on all fours and bite the pillow.

Freddybear is probably already dialing in.

Monkey Waiters? No Really, Monkey. Waiters!!!

Some hot bitches in Japan have trained monkeys to be waiters. As in, little monkeys in little waiter clothes bringing you bottles of alcohol and nourishment with their little monkey hands.



He's a polite little monkey shaking the guy's hand. Except he didn't tip. What an asshole.

The other people gave him food. That's the best kind of waiter. The kind you can just give your left overs to.

I Hate New Jersey

How I Met Your Mother has been the best and only good sitcom on tv for the past three years, and this season is no exception. From the Hamburger Quest last week to this week's rant on New Jersey.

If anyone has ever visited or lived in New York, they should be well aware of the bitter feud between the two states (mostly cause New York is awesome and New Jersey is lame.com).

Well HIMYM often tells the factual truth of New Jersey's heinousness, like in the one episode where Ted tells some B&T's where to stick it.

Well last night Ted took it to a new high with his New York vs. New Jersey fight with Stella (and Lily helped in her normal geniousness), while Jason Segel made his own case for NJ.

Brilliant.



Second video via Videogum

Personal Peeves


Sorry I haven't been up and in the blogging mood lately. It's been quite a crazy time in the world of advertising as of late. Just be sure to check in now and then, cause I have some good stuff coming up for all you peoples out there.

Just add it to your RSS and you'll be set. Just look over there at the top right.

I try to keep you up with the funny videos and such, but the election is the same shit every day and I am kind of over it all. McCain and Palin are a disaster, and Obama is ok but there are tons of racists out there. It's just a fucking mess and I am ready for it to be November 5.

As for the economy, it sucks. We're all fucked. Maybe the government will provide us with lube and poppers, but that's wishful thinking at this point.

And I hate Dallas. It's a craphole of unreliable people, ignorant assholes, and gossipy queens. Get over yourself Mary and tell your ugly boyfriend to quit hitting on me.

Course this could be said of any place, but I feel like Texas thrives on ineptitude and complacency. And the quotient of hot bears has dropped exponentially. Wisconsin/Minnesota seems to be "hot daddy bear mecca." It's weird.

Not really a coherent rant today, just a few things going on.

Keep on truckin' bitches.

OMG! This Video Series Is Brilliant!

So this new video series takes old music videos and changes the lyrics to reflect exactly what is happening in said video.





"Everything's drawn and super 80s..."

Seriously watch it. It is funny as hell. Just imagine how many awesome old videos they could completely ridicule in such a manner. Genius.
10.06.2008

Firebomb Your TV: Saturday Night Live

Sooo... SNL hit some good laughs this weekend. There was of course Tina Fey as Sarah Palin, which is genious, but there were some other great parts as well.

Like this:



"Hey Chicken, A Lot Of People Want To Eat You, But I Just Want To Talk To You, Okay?"

Fucking LOLZ!!1!

Here's the debate part:






Oh and did anyone see The Killers performances? Although it seems like they are trying to be more like Cut Copy with the light boards and tweaking of their style, I don't care cause their two new songs Human and Spaceman were both fantastic.



The Killers - Human



The Killers - Spaceman




Damn The Killers got fucking good! I can't waits for the new album.

Dragonball The Movie



Hmmmm... well... it looks... kinda... Mortal Kombat-y.
10.02.2008

When Googling Was Still New



In honor of their 10th birthday, Google has made it so you can go back in time and use their search engine as if it was 2001.

Best is to Google:

Sarah Palin (alaska), Youtube (not there), or yourself. Be warned, a possibile lack of internet presence back then makes googling oneself a harsh thing to face, if you aren't me, cause I'm awesome.

Don't you love time travel?

Teh Cuteness In Deer Form



Probably the cutest thing that was born in the history of the world (sorry Jesus).


(Via BWE)

::UPDATE::

Unfortunately, Rupert has died. It's ok to cry.

The world just lost the most cutest animal in it. Was it jealousy? (see above)

Love Is Not A Bigot



- 1 Corinthians 13:1

Probably the best ad for No To Prop 8 in California I have seen yet. A lot of the hypochristians forget the good parts of the Bible.

Only Douche Bags Drink McCain Coffee






Obama cup it is. Except I don't drink 711 coffee. That's for poor people.

Head of Skate





I'd rather stab rusty nails in my thigh.
9.26.2008

Just Cause You Say It Don't Make It True


Apparently John McCain won the debate that HASN'T HAPPENED YET.

They ran an ad on the Wall Street Journal page that says "McCain" wins debate. But the debate is tonight!! Fucking unreal.

Obviously he's going to lose the debate. It's Barack fucking Obama. Editor in chief of the Harvard Law Review. Pretty sure he can take the senile old man.

The Great Schlep... And Tracksuits





Sarah Silverman + mildly racist commentary + getting out the Jew vote in Florida = classic.

No Wonder He Won An Emmy

So I usually only post Daily Show or Colbert Report stuff when its absolutely must see.

And this is quite the surprise of the season. Colbert can't watch the debate because he MUST SEE Nights In Rodanthe.





"I love loving!!" Just watching him rip into that ridiculous movie makes me laugh out loud so much I even typed the whole thing out instead of using an abbreviation you guys.

Related: One night when we were at the movie theater the projector broke and we had to watch the Nights In Rodanthe extended trailer 7 times in a row before they fixed it.

(Via Videogum, home of the Nights In Rodanthe curiosity/hate-watching club)

Greatest Commercial Ever... With Porn!

Diesel is celebrating their 30th birthday (XXX) with a very nice SFW porno commercial. Srsly Guys. It's SFW. And funny as hell.



Fun times. And porn. I love the violin and the riding a horsey. Fucking awesome.

Pepsi Loves Us :)


On top of paying my bills, Pepsi also is down with teh gayz. They just donated $500,000 to PFLAG's Straight for Equality.


In a move that may upset conservative organizations and leaders, the PepsiCo Foundation has given a grant of $500,000 to Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays to support Straight for Equality, a national education campaign, and to fund training and chapter support.

PFLAG is a national organization made up of chapters of parents of members of the LGBT community. Chapters serve multiple roles, including support for parents who have recently learned a child is gay, community education, and engaging parents and friends in the struggle for LGBT equality.

"PepsiCo has provided PFLAG with an enormous gift, and an unparalleled opportunity, to demonstrate the power we have to create change, no matter where we are, or who we are," PFLAG executive director Jody M. Huckaby said in a statement released earlier today. "Because of the Foundation's generosity and commitment, we now have the resources to produce materials for our chapters to use in their communities, and to create critically important conversations, in every corner of our country."

"We are delighted to continue our partnership with PFLAG," Jacqueline Millan, Director of PepsiCo Corporate Contributions, said in the same statement. "The Straight for Equality in the Workplace training program is unique in that it is promoting the necessary message of inclusion to untapped groups within the local community, and that is a crucial step towards building a healthy working environment."

Thanks Pepsi. Sierra Mist Cranberry Splash is like the greatest drink of all time (with or without Vodka).
9.25.2008

I Hope They Starve To Death


A bunch of crazy right wingers are using the California Marriage Amendment debate to grandstand some more by calling their sheep to not eat solid food for 40 days til they win and remove rights away from the gays.

Hundreds of pastors have called on their congregations to fast and pray for passage of a ballot measure in November that would put an end to gay marriage in California.

The collective act of piety, starting Wednesday and culminating three days before the election in a revival for as many as 100,000 people at the San Diego Chargers' stadium, comes as church leaders across California put people, money and powerful words behind Proposition 8.

Some pastors around the state and nation are encouraging their flocks to forgo solid food for up to 40 days in the biblical tradition.

Course the preachers are still getting their protein by drinking off some hustlers dick while all their ignorant ass followers blindly starve.

Sarah Palin Is A Complete Fucking Moron



Buh buh what? "I'll try to find you some and I'll bring them to you."

Great answer lady. "I'm a complete idiot and this is why I don't do interviews and I figured Katie Couric is a woman and won't ask me hard questions or push the fact that I can't answer a SINGLE ONE."

Couric: But can you give me any other concrete examples? Because I know you've said Barack Obama is a lot of talk and no action. Can you give me any other examples in his 26 years of John McCain truly taking a stand on this?

Palin: I can give you examples of things that John McCain has done, that has shown his foresight, his pragmatism, and his leadership abilities. And that is what America needs today.

Couric: I'm just going to ask you one more time - not to belabor the point. Specific examples in his 26 years of pushing for more regulation.

Palin: I'll try to find you some and I'll bring them to you


9.24.2008

Happy National Punctuation Day!

[ : ; . , - ! ' ... " ? ]

Today is National Punctuation Day. Please, if you are chatting on here internets (especially on Bear411), be sure to remind all of the complete morons on there what day today is, and to please use GOD DAMN PUNCTUATION! (it's hard understanding a paragraph-long run on sentence filled with typos and spelling errors)


It is the greatest holiday EVERZZ!!!!!1!!

John McCain Doesn't Want To Lose


After making claims that the "fundamentals of our economy are fine" and such, John McCain has DROPPED 9 points in the pols, and instead of focusing on the issues and actually debating with Obama, he's decided to "suspend the campaign and cancel the debate... for the economy..."

Republican presidential candidate John McCain announced Wednesday that he is suspending his campaign to return to Washington and focus on the "historic" crisis facing the U.S. economy.

McCain said it was time for both parties to come together to solve economic crisis.

The Arizona senator called on his Democratic rival, Barack Obama, to do the same.

The Obama campaign announced that Obama would make a statement shortly.

McCain also urged that organizers of Friday's presidential debate at the University of Mississippi to postpone the event.

"I am calling on the president to convene a meeting with the leadership from both houses of Congress, including Senator Obama and myself," McCain told reporters in New York. "It is time for both parties to come together to solve this problem."

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid issued a statement saying the presidential debate should go on and that McCain's negotions should not be a "photo op."

Ummmm bullshit!

More like he knows he's gonna get his ass kicked in the debate, and he knows that the economy is fucked, and making statements like that have put him in a really shitty position, and nobody trusts Republicans anymore when it comes to fiscal responsibility, etc etc.

John McCain, quit acting like a spoiled brat.

In this election, John McCain wants to win so bad, he's like a child begging for a toy at the store and mommy says no.

::UPDATE::

Ummm... so now they are proposing that they move the debate to the date of the first VP debate. Yeah... that smells like they are just trying to postpone Sarah Palin's beatdown by ol Joe Biden.

::UPDATE II::

Via Drudge (I hate him)

David Letterman got cancelled on by McCain who was "going back to DC," but turns out he was being interviewed by Katie Couric.

So Letterman heckled him:
David Letterman tells audience that McCain called him today to tell him he had to rush back to DC to deal with the economy.

Then in the middle of the taping Dave got word that McCain was, in fact just down the street being interviewed by Katie Couric. Dave even cut over to the live video of the interview, and said, "Hey Senator, can I give you a ride home?"

Earlier in the show, Dave kept saying, "You don't suspend your campaign. This doesn't smell right. This isn't the way a tested hero behaves." And he joked: "I think someone's putting something in his metamucil."

"He can't run the campaign because the economy is cratering? Fine, put in your second string quarterback, Sara Palin. Where is she?"

"What are you going to do if you're elected and things get tough? Suspend being president? We've got a guy like that now!"

Finally someone is taking him to the coals over this bullshit. Please let this air tonight.



9 minutes of just ripping into McCain. Damns.

OMFG I MUST SEE MILK

Ok guys, I know this is a bit "old" and this trailer has been scouring the net for almost a month now. But stillsies. It looks sooooo fucking good.



Even though Sean Penn is doing his tard voice that may or may not be left over from his last good movie I Am Sam, but man. James Franco with a 70s Porn stache!!!

Gay rights! Pre-AIDS San Francisco! Bigotry in the government. Injustice! Gus Van Sant!

Sure biopics can be meh and/or overly trite, but the fact that they are making a movie about Harvey Milk in a positive manner is a good thing.

Maybe this will win some awards and make up for Brokeback getting lubelessly screwed.

Nyac The Otter: Heaven +1

Nyac the famous otter passed away from chronic lymphocytic leukemia yesterday. This is the otter famous for surviving an oil spill, hand for being cute as hell while holding hands with another otter.



Fucking sad ass music made me cry. Poor little otter. Have fun swimming in heaven with all the other cute little otters. No more cancer or evil Exxon can hurt you now.

(via Videogum)

Clay Gayken!


It's about fucking time. Like anyone thought any differently dude. I just wanna know, why lie? It's not like your rabid 12 year old and crusty old queen fans thought you were really just waiting for that special girl (then got her pregnant via test tubes instead of just popping her vadge cause you are a total bottom).
9.23.2008

Elitist What?


[click for larger]

Ummm yeah. One house and a hybrid vs all that. Really McCain? Really?

(via JMG)

Take A Look...

So what now? We might as well assume McCain is going to die and this bitch is going to be President when she gets her own fucking stickers. It's like, McCain who? I'm voting for the crazy End of Days bitch who is going to help bring about the Apocalypse.

Maybe those 2012 rumors are actually true! That would be right at the end of her first Presidency. Fucking scary shit.

Go vote for Obama bitches.

(thanks Chaser Ricky for the photo)
9.22.2008

Josh Groban + Classic TV Themes = Wow

Being that LOST didn't win the Emmy (I still love Mad Men but damn), and Michael Emerson didn't win best Supporting Actor, I was a bit disappointed. Buttt... Josh Groban's compilation of several classic tv show themes was pretty classic in its' own right.



The Baywatch part is my favorite.

(Thanks Videogum for finding the video)

John McCain's Chief of Staff Is A Faggot


Michael Signorile and blogger Mike Rogers have both outed McCain's COS as being a gay man.

Then I was contacted in recent weeks by 46-year-old Brian Davis, an Arizona resident, who told me about his intimate relationship with Mark Buse (confirmed by his mother, as well as by a long-time friend), and who decided he needed to tell the truth about Buse, on the record, in light of John McCain’s dramatic shift to the ideological religious right in this election and his choice of Sarah Palin, starlet of the evangelical movement, as a running mate. (Repeated calls to Mark Buse's office and calls and email to McCain's communications office in the Senate regarding this story were unreturned. Mike Rogers, the blogger and activist who revealed the truth about Senator Larry Craig and others in politics, today reports this same reality about Mark Buse that I report here, with separate, independent sourcing.)


Mike Rogers even took the man a Roy Cohn award for being a self hating gay.

Does the McCain campaign truly support LGBT Americans? Let's see when the American Family Association weights in. TAKE ACTION and CALL THE AMERICAN FAMILY ASSOCIATION and THANK THEM FOR SUPPORTING JOHN MCCAIN even though he has gay Americans in high places on his staff, including his Chief of Staff.

Wow. Hot stuff. Interesting to see the McCain camp that has taken such an abrupt turn to evangelism and homophobia would employ a gay man in such a high office.

Fuck him and his traitorous ways. I hope he gets fried for this shit and maybe he'll feel the repercussions of being fired just for being gay, which is what his fucking party is all about.

Off Topic: Yesterday at pride here in Dallas it was nice to see most people boo the Log Cabins so bad they had to walk in shame.

(Via Joe.my.god)

Take A Look...


At a friend's birthday party, one of the bears had a pretty hilarious story of some drunk bitch who passed out in his apartment complex.

Notice the cesarean scar on her tummy, the energy drink (obviously didn't work all that well), and the one shoe off. Klassy with a K.